This is a poem I wrote a long time ago and I questioned whether or not I should post it here. I don’t remember what was happening at the time when I wrote it but I though it might be helpful to someone going through a rough patch – to know it is possible to come out the other side and become a happy optimistic person!

March 1998 – Going Through a Rough Patch

The way I think I’ll always feel

is how I’ve always been.

Not showing others everything,

there’s so much they’ve never seen.

I’ve tried to keep the mask on

though I’m not sure why it’s there.

Now I don’t know what I am

and I don’t think that I care.

Right now I know I’m empty,

I’m numb and want to cry,

I wish I could just stop it –

I’ve had enough and don’t know why.

I’ve seen the things in nature

and what they need to thrive,

but without their special gifts

they’d never seem alive.

I’ve watched the birds go flying,

I’ve sat and heard them sing.

But I don’t feel their freedom,

I’m an eagle with one wing.

I’ve seen the raindrops falling,

like tears from Heaven’s eye.

I’ll never have their purpose,

I’m a cloud which has no sky.

I’ve seen the joy the sun can bring,

when before things seemed much duller.

I cannot bring that happiness,

I’m a rainbow with no colour.

I feel I’ve given nothing

and for that I take the blame.

I just feel dull and useless,

like a candle with no flame.

I’m feeling trapped and lonely

and I don’t know what to do,

each day I keep on pacing,

like a tiger in the zoo.

I need to run away,

but I don’t think that I dare.

I can’t decide which path to take,

I’m a fox caught in a snare.