It was getting pretty late on my birthday and a snap decision was made to get a ‘nice bottle of wine and some munchies’. So off I went.

Our local shop is open pretty late and I got there just 10 minutes before it closed, however, even as I approached their car park, I could hear the shouting. Not a good thing. I decided to have a look around before I even got out of the car.

A woman was just outside the door of the shop but her attention was firmly on a car which was just exiting the car park, while the ‘lady’ waved her mobile about while shouting legally questionable phrases and letting everyone know she was getting a photo of the number plate. I’m doubtful she could have photographed that if it was right in front of her and not moving but she seemed more optimistic about her abilities than I was so she continued.

I decided it was ok for me to get out of the car. Yes, she was clearly under the influence of something, be it drugs or alcohol or both but her wrath was directed elsewhere and I entered the shop undetected. So far so good – Operation Wine and Munchies was going well.

As I sauntered around the store, I was still aware of the shouting outside and could see other customers starting to look a little nervous. Not me though, for I was on a mission and it would be successfully completed no matter what.

It was as I walked up to the till that I heard the very loud bang. ‘Oh’, I thought, ‘sounds like a window’. It was. I don’t know if the ‘lady with a keen interest in photography’ had kicked it, punched it or just head butted it – trust me, any of these were viable options at this point.

The nice lady served me at the till and as I was paying, she made a comment about not knowing what ‘they’ were doing with customers. I was confused too so I thanked her and went to find out.

The shift manager informed me she had locked the doors and couldn’t let us out ‘for our safety’. At this point I noticed the amateur photographer was now trying to get shots of staff and customers inside the premises.

I must admit, I’m not overly proud of my first thought, which went something like this…

“Oooh a siege, wonder if we’ll get free sandwiches and juice?”

We didn’t.

I asked the shift manager if she had called the police. She let me know she had pressed ‘the panic button’ and the police should be here in minutes. This is made easier by the fact that the station is just across the road (I’m not joking). However, the shift manager did say they ‘pay extra’ for the service, i.e. the panic button which did confuse me a little. The police are publicly funded but for a little extra they can be your own private security? Didn’t know that.

A few minutes later, the popo showed up and the door was opened. One customer asked if it was ‘safe to leave’. I walked past her while rolling my eyes. Anyway, the camera ‘lady’ was wrestling with a policeman outside so again, her attention was elsewhere.

By the time I got to the car, I could hear an interesting discussion being shouted by the ‘lady’ and the uniformed man about who was more sick of whose attitude. I must admit her vocabulary was much more colourful than his – wasn’t sure if that means she gets points for creativity or not.

I drove past the scene, sorry I didn’t have my camera with me and noticed the car which was possibly being photographed at the start of all this was back in the car park and the driver was out talking to someone but I didn’t bother to get a good look as the main show had been much more entertaining.

So there you have it, I got home and told the fam why I had been delayed and then we got to the final instalment of operation wine and munchies.

All this on a Sunday night too!