If you come across someone obviously needing help, do you jump in or wait for someone else to do it?

This question came into my mind today because of a situation I came across and the outcome really surprised me (and made me a little angry if I’m honest).

I was driving into the car park of the town’s supermarket and a car caught my attention. It looked like it was stuck half way down the ‘road’ of the car park and showed no signs of moving. As I parked, I checked in my mirror to see if anyone was about and there was.

A young man was talking to a woman in the driving seat (I took them to be boyfriend and girlfriend), and saw him go to the back of the car to start pushing it on his own while the young woman steered. I also noticed a couple of men sitting in their cars, here and there around the car park, watching the young couple struggle.

I told Dearest Son to stay in the car while I went over to see if they wanted a hand. They seemed quite stressed out and unsure what to do but were glad of another pair of hands. They had been trying to push-start the car but it wasn’t working. I told them I had a little ‘jump-start’ box in my car which I would bring over, but we should get the car into a parking bay so it wasn’t obstructing any other vehicles.

As we started to push the car, a male voice said, “Would you like another pair of hands”? So the three of us pushed while the girl steered the car into a space. I ran back to my car to get the jump-starter.

I was only gone a minute or so, but when I got back to their car, another car had turned up (which I’m sure is one I spotted with a male occupant watching the scene unfold). He had jump cables and was proceeding to get them out of the car when I took my box out of the bag and offered to use mine first as it would be quicker and save him using the cables, etc.

Now, I may have picked him up wrong, he may just have been surprised when he saw my jump-start box, but it came across as dismissive.

“Do you really think that will start it”? or words very similar to that.

I told him it would as I’ve used it many times in the past and it worked fine (the couples’ car was a mini cooper so not exactly a tank).

The man didn’t look convinced and even as I was putting my machine together, he continued to hook everything up. I admit, I found this quite dismissive and demeaning if I’m honest. But I stepped back and said if he was happy to put himself out, then crack on.

He did and he got the car going for them (but I did tell the young man my machine would have worked just as well!)

All ended well but it gave me questions.

1. Why did nobody offer help until I started? They were clearly there before me but did nothing until they saw someone else do it.
2. Why did that man feel the need to step over me like that? He may not have done it intentionally and it’s not the first time it’s happened to me but, damn it, I am capable. I’ve got my own car going – myself – when it was just me and Dearest Son in the car. I get angry by this attitude.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a feminist or anything like that but is it really so hard for a man to step back and let a woman just get on with it? He had been told I was getting my box as soon as he drove over, but proceeded to get all his cables out anyway.

And so, I ask my female readers: how would you feel if this was done to you?

I ask my male readers: how would you have reacted in this situation?

I ask all of you: would you have been first to help, or wait for someone else to do it?