(The podcast episode for this post can be found here: https://www.podbean.com/ep/pb-yvceq-147d3a9 ).

In part 1, we looked at some of the physical, emotional and behavioural signs of stress as well as why the body has certain biological responses to stress.

This time I want to offer some suggestions which I hope will be useful to help you deal with stress (now that you’ve identified and recognised it!). A practical exercise is included for you to try and use daily.

Ideas for managing stress levels:

Become knowledgeable about stress:

• Identify your major sources of stress
• Anticipate stressful periods and plan for them
• Develop a number of constructive strategies and practise them

Come to terms with your feelings:

• Don’t suppress your feelings: acknowledge them to yourself and share them with others
• Learn to be flexible and adaptable

Develop effective behavioural skills:

• Don’t use the words ‘can not’ when you actually mean ‘will not’
• Use free time productively
• Be assertive
• Avoid blaming others for situations
• Provide positive feedback to others
• Acknowledge problems as soon as they arrive
• Work on time management
• Learn to say ‘no’!

Establish and maintain a strong support network:

• Ask for direct help and be receptive to it when it is offered
• Rid yourself of dead or damaging relationships
• Tell the members of your support network that you value the relationship

Develop a lifestye that will strengthen you against stress:

• Maintain correct weight (I know, easier said than done)
• Regular exercise of some sort
• Practise relaxation techniques regularly
• Caffeine and alcohol should be used in moderation (or not at all)
• Cut out tobacco or reduce significantly
• Avoid foods high in sugar, salt, white flour, saturated fats, GMO, sweeteners – if you can’t pronounce it you probably shouldn’t be eating it!
• Eat more unprocessed food ie chicken breast not chicken burgers!
• Plan your use of time both daily and on a long term basis
• Seek out variety and a change of pace
• Don’t dwell on unimportant matters
• Make gratitude a part of every day

Remember your spiritual development:

• Establish a sense of purpose and direction
• Believe in yourself
• Maintain a sense of proportion – the bigger picture
• Pray for guidance and help

How to create more time:

• List your goals and set your priorities
• Make a ‘To do’ list
• Catergorise the list into: A (top priority items), B (important items) and C (items which can wait until you have more time)
• Go to the Bs and assign them either to the As or the Cs
• Start with the As – leave the Cs for later
• Keep asking yourself, “What is the best use of my time right now?”
• Don’t procrastinate – it will only add more stress – so if it needs done, do it now!

Ideas for managing time at work/home more effectively:

• Prioritise your tasks as described above
• Prepare for and group outgoing telephone calls/emails
• Set aside time for creative thinking
• Make sure you listen carefully and check your understanding of whats being asked of you
• Remain brief on the telephone
• Prepare for meetings/appointments
• Tackle one task at a time to give it your full concentration
• Get clear instructions and give clear instructions
• Don’t procrastinate!
• Wherever possible handle each piece of paper once only – so its dealt with as soon as you get it
• Learn to say ‘no’

Asking for time

This is a very important technique for helping us assess our priorities when we are being asked to take on difficult or additional tasks or even with a neighbour asking for a favour.

You asking for time to think over what you are being asked is giving yourself the amount of time you need to consider the pros and cons of the request so you can make a decision thats best for you:

• Listen carefully to the request/order/favour
• Clarify and make sure you understand what is being asked of you
• Pause – take a breath and think about what is being asked of you
• Acknowledge that you have understood what has been said/the needs/feelings of the other person
• Try saying something like: “I can’t decide right now, I need a litttle time to think that over and get back to you”
• Specify the amount of time you need and how/when you will notify the person about your decision: ‘I’ll give you a call after lunch’

Asking for time is about taking youself seriously and valuing your time. You may need to remind yourself of your right to say ‘no’ as there is no point giving yourself the space to reflect on your priorities if you are still unable to say ‘no’!

Breathing Technique

Now we come to the practical exercise I promised you!

The following is a very simple yet powerful technique to use to control your breathing and in turn, take control of the stress. As we saw in part 1, stess causes breathing to quicken which has an effect on many other parts of the body.

You can’t breathe slowly and quickly at the same time so taking back control of the breathing is an important skill to have.

Practise this exercise at some point every day as learning what to do when you are not in a ‘stressful situation’, helps you deal with those times when they do occur.

Check how you are breathing right now – are you taking calm, slow breaths or do you notice you are taking shallow breaths?

Now I want you to place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly – keep breathing the way you normally do.

Which hand moves the most?

If its the hand on your chest, keep reading! If its the hand on your belly, congratulations; it sounds like you’re a deep breather but keep reading anyway!

Keep your hands in those 2 places and take a slow deep breath in, through your nose and deliberately make sure the belly goes out as you breathe in – make that hand move as your belly goes out. The hand on your chest should not move as much.

When you’ve taken a large slow breath in, slowly let it out through your mouth – feel your belly go back down (if this is a struggle, use the hand on your belly to gently push it back in so you get to feel what it should be doing).

Continue these steps – making sure the hand on your belly moves up/out on the ‘in’ breath and goes back down/in on the ‘out’ breath. Do this for as long as you need to: if you’re new to this, I would aim for a minute or two to begin with. It depends what you are comfortable with but do take a little time every day to practise this: on the bus, waiting for the kettle to boil, whenever you can!

By learning this technique you are learning to take control:

Control of the breathing = control of the stress.

Remember, stress makes your breathing quicken, its one of the first signs and has a huge effect on the rest of your body, so I’m going to say it again:

You can’t breathe slowly and quickly at the same time!

By practising this, it will become familiar, second nature, to you. So then the next time a stressful situation comes your way, you can instantly take control of the breathing (you won’t necessarily need to use your hands by that point, as you’ll know the feeling you’re aiming for).

You slow the breathing, you feel calmer and therefore give yourself time to deal with whatever has arisen, in a calmer frame of mind. This is a skill and therefore needs practise which I sincerely hope you’ll give a go.

I hope you try these tips and they help you to control your stress levels. Above all else I want to leave you with one simple message:

Lets take control of our stress and get more joy in our lives!