You’ll never guess what it is…

As many of you will know, I’ve been looking for a ‘new’ car for us for some time. And as we are now in our Summer holiday break from home schooling, I decided Dearest Son and I would take a very quick run through to the big town that is Inverness to have a quick look at some of the cars there. We went in the evening when the car dealerships would be closed for a couple of reasons:

• The roads would be quieter
• I just wanted to see if they had anything in my price range
• The daily duties of ‘carer’ had been handled for a little while
• I didn’t want to be harassed by any cars salesfolk – you know the type of thing

So, we got to the first one I’d thought of around 8.30pm and pulled into their car park. Just as we were getting ready to get out of the car, a police car drove past the front of us and we saw them park just behind us to one side. I thought it a little weird but assumed it was nothing to do with us as we’d just arrived.

Dearest Son was out of the car first, then I got out and as I found it a bit chilly, I went into the back seat to get my little coat. As I was putting it on, a male policeman shouted something over which I didn’t hear. I asked him to repeat and he asked us if we’d been into any of the buildings. I was a little perplexed as I was still zipping up my coat, which to any observant human, would normally show we’d just arrived. I pointed out to him that we had just gotten out of the car and he did a bit of ‘Oh, I see’, ‘just arrived’, ‘mmm’, then proceeded to look at the large building beside him as if that would allow him to see all the way round the interior and exterior at the same time. Dearest Son and I exchanged glances which clearly read, ‘What was that all about?’ and we carried on over to look at the cars.

Within seconds I realised there were none in our price range but as I was looking, I thought I heard something squeak. I asked Dearest Son if he’d heard something and he thought he had. We looked around and although we couldn’t see anything, we heard it again. A voice. Female but we still didn’t see anything.

Then I saw the source of the squeak. A tiny, little mini-cop was in front of me. I quickly realised we didn’t see it because the cars were taller. So was I, by a considerable margin and I’m only 5′ 4″.

Mini-cop came fully loaded with big, bad attitude and wanted to know why we were there. It turned out the people who owned the business had seen someone walking around and called the police. Can I point out however, that all this happened before we had arrived and I can prove it. Now think about this: A call is made to police, they go round to the business to have a look – THEN I arrive. Now I don’t know what the current response time is of the Inverness police but I doubt it’s that good that they can arrive on the scene before an alleged perpetrator (in this case, me). This seemed to go over mini-cop’s head. When ‘looking at cars’ was mentioned, I did point out that was the whole point of them being outside. Mini-cop was still angry.

I did say that I was there to look for cars (which was all I intended to say). Mini-cop then said it was ‘abnormal behaviour’ to go looking for cars when the place was closed. I added that, that was the point – so I wouldn’t have salesmen coming out and I’d be able to have a look in peace. Mini-cop repeated it was ‘abnormal’ so I gave it what I call ‘the eyebrow’. To those who don’t know, that is the ability to raise one eyebrow in a questioning and yet mocking way. I accompanied ‘the eyebrow’ with ‘Whatever…that’s what I’m doing’, then turned away from mini-cop and got on with my day.

I don’t know how long mini-cop stood there with it’s make up and open gob, which reminded me of a hungry fish I might add, but I do know that when we left, they were still in their car, watching us. Not checking the building by the way, just watching a mother and her son drive away. I had so much fun I went to another car lot just along the road but sadly they didn’t follow.

I did find out that there were no cars in my price range so not all was lost.

I know I’m not alone in going to check car lots when they are shut – we don’t like being hassled to make a sale. I also know that the new type of police like to make everything seem like you have a mental health condition – I used to work in mental health so I think I’d know more about that than the mini-cop. I also know that the female types (young, blond and angry) are usually the ones to cause trouble. I know this because EVERY video I’ve seen on YouTube regarding police always have a young, blond and angry (female) mini-cop right at the front, mouthing off about something irrelevant. They have a point to prove and an attitude before they even get out of the car.

I looked up their website to see how to put in a complaint, just for the fun of it but that made a labyrinth look easy by comparison. I’ll be looking somewhere else later this week – come get me mini-cop (and don’t forget your lippy).